Kindley Technology

Today my dishwasher was delivered and installed. HALLELUJAH! I had reached the point with washing up where I really couldn't stand it any longer (and neither could my son) and our quality of life was going to take a nose dive in the imminent future if things did not improve. I would eye the contents of the sink overflowing elsewhere into the kitchen and feel hate. It was all I could do not to pick up the mucky empty dish that had held a rather tasty parsnip and spud gratin now burnt in chunks around the side, and just chuck it straight in the bin.

Ditto dirty plates, glasses and cereal bowls. It was never-ending, like all housework. A definition of perpetual motion almost. But now I can break free of the sink! I can set forth unto the world of entertaining my friends again. YIPPEEE.

So I'm starting tonight. I've hauled out of the freezer a joint of venison bought quite a while ago. I've no idea what to do with it but luckily it comes in a box with instructions. They don't look hard. Preheat oven, place meat in dish, give blast of 240°C for 10 mins, take out, add salt, pepper, oil, reduce heat, cook 50mins. Not rocket science, is it? I think I can manage that, with roast spuds, roast parsnips, and broccoli. Salad first with a hearty balsamic vinegar and garlic dressing. Is it good for you? No idea and don't care.

Then load the dishwasher, try and work out the nifty cutlery drawer right at the top (I kept the old basket just in case the drawer drives me nuts as I think it might - call it female intuition...), and set it off during cheap night time electricity. Aaah, I love technology.

Talking of which, I've actually decided what I want for Christmas. This makes a change because I've usually no idea and have sad thoughts about how as I never go shopping I never know what's out there and thus never know what I want. It's all bollocks of course, but a little pious puritanical self-pity at the beginning of December never did anyone any harm. It soon passes though (usually while I'm on the internet buying for everyone else) and I'm racking my brains with the best of them.

So, this year... I would like (though probably won't get) a KINDLE! Along with an awful lot of other people, I think. Why? Well, I've run out of book shelf space, and living in France is a pain for getting books in English cheaply. Yes, I could go into town and hunt out the second hand book shop that sells them for a fairly hefty second hand price, I could be inventive and book swap, and hunt out people with books they want to pass on, but frankly I can't be arsed.

I'd like to be able to go into a charity shop and pick up a bundle of ten for a quid, or 25p each for the better ones, read them and then take them back to be resold to someone else. Can't do that here though.

Maybe I should read in French, and I have done, but I prefer to read in English and as my aim in life is to do as much as I like as possible and as little as I don't like, it means finding ways to get hold of cheap books. Amazon has a bundle of reasonably price e-books, as do other websites. Seems to me an ideal way of getting my hands on a variety of reading material for a minimal price seeing as I'm abroad an' all.

Santa, I hope you're listening! Cooeeeee!!! SANTA!

Dishwasher Tales

About a month ago my dishwasher gave up the ghost for a second time. The first time around I got it patched up with a new Aquastop bought off the internet for €90 and fitted by a friendly plumber who accepted a nice dinner with his daughter as payment.

This time around I think it was more serious and something to do with Inbuilt Obsolescence, probably in the computer. The robust German motor is fine, natch. It's everything else that conks out early. Still, I've had it since 2002 so I suppose it's done better than many.

Unfortunately, however, it being nearly Christmas etc. etc. I didn't have the money to buy a new one. I searched high and low on the internet, popped into Darty and positively rushed out, nearly bought one on CDiscount, then didn't, then gave up. We were reduced to elbow grease, my eldest and I, him with much moaning, me with much despair.

Entertaining became out of the question. You might suggest that I don't entertain much anyway so what difference would it make, and you'd be right. But, I like having options, and when you have no dishwasher, your options suddenly take a nosedive. Who wants to spend an evening preparing food, eating a nice dinner, indulge one's drinking because one is not driving, and then face a whole tiny kitchen full of dirty muck? Certainly not me. Call me a lazy sod but my life's my own and I don't intend to spend it enslaved at the sink.

So the other day when I was off work because of Thanksgiving, I paid a visit to Mondial Market which it just so happens is located next to MDA, an electrical goods central d'achat.This means they buy goods at the same price they are sold at to shops like Darty and thus sell them at a super discount.

Naturally, having spent hours on the internet comparing prices and popping in and out of Darty, I was pretty au fait on what sort of price dishwashers cost. Their prices were a wee bit more than the internet, but the machines came with a 3-yr guarantee and they are just up the road. The clincher was deferred payment and fee-free credit.

Woo hoo! But, not being an impulsive idiot, I didn't buy a thing. I went home and thought about it and discussed it with my TWDB. Strong-minded, huh? We went back yesterday - it always helps to have a man about when buying stuff. Sales staff are less likely to think you're just some ditsy chick and tell you porkies as long as your arm. Annoying but true.

Not that they could tell me much as I was already an internet expert and knew exactly what I wanted, from decibel level to deferred start to economic use of water and electricity. Research and ye shall not haveth the wool pulleth over thine eyes!

I picked a snazzy Siemens, mainly because the one I've got is a Siemens and they are water specialists (so good for washing machines and dryers too). Despite not being able to negotiate the price even further down because it was the expo model, I bought it anyway and it's being delivered on Wednesday, installed and the old one whisked away. I start paying in Jan, in five goes, no fee. I couldn't ask for more!

My eldest is over the moon. I might consider entertaining again. Normal life resumes.

Pumped Out Siemens

MY DISH-WASHER IS DEAD!! WOE IS ME!!!

And you know what's really galling? The mechanics work fine - it washes fine, dries fine - functions, quoi. BUT some weird and wonderful gadget called an AQUA STOP has decided it's paid enough into the retirement kitty and has downed tools.

I ask by what right does it think it can sabotage my dish-washer? It just looks at me stoically and tells me to consult it's union representative, that 6 or so loyal years of service is quite adequate and that I should be grateful it didn't take action and go on strike earlier for making it cope with such hard water.

I do actually have an Ekeo water softener but we all know how efficient THAT is haha.

The machine still works but the AquaStop is preventing water being pumped in. I can't cut it off either because these things are all wired up with security measures and will implode if you so much as wave screwdriver at it let alone approach menacingly with a wire cutter.

I had a surf around the internet today. My TWDB is registered with the French equivalent of Which? called Que Choisir, but their last dish-washer testing dates back to the middle of 2008. Not terribly useful, that. You wouldn't believe the sheer quantity of dish-washers on the market. Sifting through them is a daunting task and I stuck it for all of 10 minutes before my eyes crossed and I started dribbling...

So it'll be all hands to the washing-up deck until I identify a likely candidate to replace my lovely Siemens. I'm planning one-pot meals and will certainly resort to a bumper pack of paper plates before long.

Today is pancake day, so I hope you've got your pancake tossing hats on. If you're a tosser, natch. I've put my flippin' hat on cos I'm more of a flipper meself... Pancake pans don't get too dirty, either...