Nature Raw

How was your blistering weather weekend? I spent Saturday celebrating my youngest's 10th birthday. He said it was the best birthday he'd had for, ooh, at least a year... One of the highlights for my son was being able to sit, legitimately, in the front seat. I now foresee fights between boys as to who gets to sit up front! One there, one back, I suppose.

His birthday treat was the afternoon at Accrobranche, where they swing and climb their way through the treetops and descend via exciting Tyrolean traverses. With 4 pals, they pounded their way around the 5 courses, several times, stopping only for refreshment of pancakes and Fanta, and finally birthday cake and sparklers. I had asked for a financial participation rather than birthday presents (with my son's permission!) which meant that instead of going home with a bunch of stuff he didn't need, which would get broken or lost, and be a waste of money, the boys had a good time and I didn't suffer the consequences.

To complete the day, as if presents, Accrobranche and a friend staying over weren't enough, we went to KFC, bought a bucket, and went to have a picnic on the beach. My dearly beloved joined us for a glass of chilled rosé and a discussion on camping sauvage.

I have pretty strong views on camping sauvage summarised, in one word, as 'discomfort'. Yeah, I'm a wimp... from experience, mind. It's romantic in notion, ghastly in practice especially if you like your showers in shower form and hot, a toilet with flush, and no risk of being woken up (if you've actually managed to fall into an exhausted stupor) in the night by lunatics in Jeeps charging round the countryside where you've pitched your tiny tent, whooping in drunken joy and firing air rifles into the air (yes, that was one of my more terrifying experiences just outside Cassis).

I'm too old for such shenanigans. I'm not keen on the 'refuge' idea either. The last time I was in one of those was in the Pyrenees, reached by walking uphill all day with everything you needed in the way of food and equipment. The place was in the middle of a field next to a mountain stream, had no toilets at all, no shower natch, and limited cooking facilities. It also had a dormitory of bunks made up of wooden planks going all the way round two of the walls on two levels. You had to pitch your sleeping bag in a space on the planks along with everyone else - very cosy! It was packed - we'd even had to reserve our space! All night I listened to a surround-sound rendition of grunts and snores (having forgotten to bring industrial strength ear plugs), couldn't get comfortable on the plank (hipbone + wood = bruise), felt edgy about the bloke on my right, and staggered up next morning desperate to leave. The worst was not having the means to make a decent cuppa to cope with the rest of it.

One tries to be a brave little soldier about not going to the loo, not washing, eating rubbish, being deprived of tea and getting no sleep, but ultimately, why bother?

Obviously I'm not a natural nymph of Nature. Still, at least I tried, eh?!

I'm Swingin'

The school holidays end today coinciding with the arrival of summery weather. Yesterday we went to the beach and the boys were happily splashing and swimming about in the sea. Not me though. I'm a class A wimp concerning water. I like it to be 27°C before I go in further than my knees.

Last Wednesday we went to swing about the trees at Oc-Aventures at St Jean de Cuculles. Set in a pine forest, the company has set up a great number and variety of ways to move between the trees. You can swing across Tarzan style, wobble across on logs, climb across on a high-level climbing wall, zoom down on 'tyroliennes' where you hang on to a bar on a wire stretched between two points. Can't remember what it's called in English, and Babelfish is no help!

Anyway, we arrived at 3.30pm but the place was packed and were told we'd have to wait. Looking at the prices, it would cost 47Eur for one adult and two children - a bit steep really. We had gone with pal C and two of her offspring and decided we would negotiate as we had to wait. It turned out that we had to wait until 5.30pm by which time there was no way we were going to pay 47Eur, especially as pal C had to leave at 6pm to fetch her youngest. We offered 20Eur each cash to the young guy who was not in charge. The poor lad, faced with the logic of a short session and cash, agreed but told us not to say anything to the grumpy boss.

The four kids were, by this time, high or far in the trees and having a great time. You are attached at all times, so as long as you follow the safety rules, you cannot do yourself much harm. Even the young boys were sensible about this.

We climbed our way up and wobbled and balanced our way along, crawled through a rather narrow tube, swung like Tarzan and enjoyed some 'emotion fortes'. It was great fun, but so tiring. Pal C had to dash off after one course, but I had had enough too, so spent the rest of the time admiring the antics of the four young'uns. They each did 4 or 5 courses and had a lovely time.

Two days later, my abdos and pecs were throbbing, but apparently the children were fine. I think there might be a message in there...

Oc-Aventures - great fun but pricey unless you arrive late and manage to bargain.