Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A glass 'a' Lir and a packet 'a' crisps, please

Colin Randall has brought to my attention a new vino product. One can't say 'wine' on pain of excruciting torture before an untimely death as it is too weak to be considered by such an appellation. It's only 6-9% apparently instead of 12-ish.

I haven't tasted it, and in fact, haven't seen it in any of the shops I frequent (Intermarché and Norma, principally - hardly surprising then...) but I'm always keen to try out these new-fangled (hehe, love that word!) ideas-made-liquid.

The product sounds fine, but I object to the name. 'Lir' - I mean, I ask you. I hope the manufacturers didn't spend millions on some marketing brand company to come up with such a pathetic name. It evokes nothing, and you would certainly not realise it was anything you would drink, but you can make some funny comments about it in conjunction with, for example kir.

"I'd like a Kir Lir please, guv."
"This is a pub, son, not a kiddie bank."
"No, a KIR Lir, not a TIRE-lire."
Publican looking miffed. "I KNOW, I woz just 'avin' a larf! Now clear off, we don't sell poofta drinks like that 'ere!"

How about, instead something like Plonkette, or Plonkine or Vinette, or Winette, or Vinine, Winine, Plonkinetta etc etc etc.

Any other suggestions? I could always pass them on to Michael Paetzold, the creator... hehe.

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