Having been a bit distressed in the last couple of days, I was happy to receive this jolly piece in a forwarded email, and have decided to share because that's the kinda girl I am...
The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
3. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
4. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
5. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
6. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
7. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. [This one got extra credit.]
8. Karmageddon (n.): It's, like, when everybody is giving off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
9. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
10. Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.
11. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
13. Beelzebug (n.): Satan, in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3:00 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
14. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the publication:
15. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Something for everyone there, I feel. Except Jade Goody who would probably wonder which letter has been added, subtracted or changed in each one, of course. She may even see nothing unusual in this selection. Actually, she probably wouldn't be able to read them to start with as they have more than one syllable each.
The rest of you enjoy a good laugh.