Tuesday, September 28, 2010


It's my eldest's birthday today. Fourteen. FOURTEEN, my god, how did he reach such a horrendous age? I remember 14 well and never ever want to go back (which is just as well unless I've got it wrong and reincarnation exists after all!).

Something happened to my face in adolescence. The bits started moving around and growing unevenly, came out in disgusting spots and I ended up resembling the back end of a bus. Of course, it all came out in the wash and eventually an acceptable face was restored, but I think it highly unfair that some kids have to go through the bus stage and others sail through harmoniously balanced throughout.

My son bears no resemblance to a bus, I'm happy to say, and towers over me. He's going through a zombie phase at the moment, like a huge number of ados, and asked for a zombie-centric set of pressies apart from a subscription to Le Monde des Ados (or something). I was terribly keen on subscribing him to a magazine he'll have to READ, less so on buying zombie XBox games and a cartoon book Zombies, la Divine Comédie (is it some sick joke?).

He doesn't know it yet, but my mother is sending him a Slanket. I suggested this because he LOVES sprawling on the sofa under a blanket for at least 6 months of the year, XBox manette in hand. It drives me nuts because the blankets are pretty chunky and not easy to wash, and take up a lot of room when not in use. He'll probably think it a really uncool pressie, then try it out and I won't be able to get it off him to wash.

I can see him wafting around in his Slanket, falling over it as he goes downstairs, and wrapping himself in it to eat. It hasn't arrived yet, so he wasn't able to wrap himself up in it when I went to pick him up from the infirmary at school this afternoon. Apparently he's gone down with something like a headache, temperature, feeling sick etc. I was a tad suspicious at first because he's been known to pull a fast one and enjoyed time off school when Perfectly Fit, and there are two brand new games sitting seductively at home...

So I put it to him as we went out that he might be hamming it up, and he said "Are you taking the piss?" which I suppose was reasonable seeing as he looked like death warmed up (rather like a zombie) and went straight to bed (for show?). Strangely, he's now feeling better and I'm sure he'll be on the Xbox within two shakes of cat's whisker.

The big treat today is supper at MacDo. I'm not unhappy at such unsophisticated tastes and neither is my credit card. We'll have to see though if he's well enough to go out. Funny how these sicknesses come and go with blinding speed.

I'm letting him off typing practice today too, as a treat. My mother's new blog has two shiny posts lovingly typed by my son (ahem) but it's a slow process involving much moaning.

His birthday treat with pals was to go to the cinema but he now wants to go karting and 'hang out as usual'. Not so keen on trekking over to the karting, paying vast sums for 15 mins of fun then trekking all the way back so he can hang out as usual but if that's what he wants... I'll have to check on that next-but-one weekend together with the status of the birthday cake (does he/doesn't he want one, which type? etc) as his mind seems to change at nanosecond intervals and one is expected to keep up!

Happy birthday son. Proud of you :)


  1. Hope he has a super birthday...whatever he turns out to want...the knack seems to be to say yes to something before a teenager changes their minds..

  2. LOL Fly, I think you have to actually part with money before it's set in stone!

    He's having a lovely time playing some horrible game called Saw.

  3. From one Rivière to another I can only wish you good luck and a fabulous birthday to your son. Tomorrow I am going to have a good, hard look at my 6 1/2 year old boy and try and engrave that alert, angelic face into my consciousness for future reference with a glass of wine after a teenage birthday incident ;-)

  4. I know what you mean, Ange. My youngest is coming out of the angelic face stage and moving into young man stage. It's great, but a mother's heart also grieves the loss of her lovely little boy. One will soon have to contend with a stroppy ado young man. *sigh*

  5. Oh I have found a kindred spirit: the mother of a 14 year old man-child who spends his life horizontal on a sofa.

    This post made me laugh and nod my head numerous times.

  6. Hi Trish, lovely to see you here,I found your blog via VBinC and loved it.

    My son would move onto the sofa given half a chance, sleeping there, eating there, only getting up to use the facilities. He kind of expects the rest of us to squash up around him, and of course, he expects to be Sole Holder of the Zapper which, if I'm concentrating, gets taken off him immediately (so as not to encourage him)!

  7. Are they twins? I seem to have to break up zapper fights between my husband and son continually.

  8. Yes, what happened to our darling little sons? My son is now 16 and taller than me. How did that happen? Luckily, he's not interested in the sofa - he's glued to his computer in his bedroom. The French kids seem to like hanging out at McDos.

  9. Trish, sounds like they are cosmic twins at least!

    DD - they do grow up faster than blinking mushrooms, don't they? I keep telling mine to stop it, but my eldest in particular just shrugs and slopes off, Nutella sarnie (x2) in hand.


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