Thursday, December 27, 2012

What an Effing Crappy Boxing Day

Yesterday was a write-off, a day I would mostly like to remove from my memory bank. Normally that shouldn't take long as I have a terrible memory, but I have a nasty feeling that this one will hang around for quite a while, like a lingering mauvais pong.

It began badly. I discovered that my kitchen sink was blocked when I tried to do the washing up. I chucked in some unblocking gel and left it to do its thing.

Then I had to go to work, on Boxing Day, but because France doesn't do Boxing Day, muggins here was up at the crack of dawn (it being around the shortest day) to haul her weary bones to earn a crust. I don't like working on Boxing Day. It feels wrong despite the fact that I've been in France for a really long time now (and at this time of year it feels way too long!). There were two of us at work: me and the guard.

Luckily on Wednesdays I finish at noon so I could escape to the joyous prospect of dealing with the sink, which I discovered was still blocked. The water hadn't moved a jot. It was all still there, stagnating. The gel had not worked, at all.

I poked my head under the sink and, because the plumbing in the house is so crappy, as I was taking out the bottles and boxes I keep there, I knocked a tube and a whole sink-worth of water cascaded out onto the floor. Some people are flooded from torrential rain and an over-flowing river outside; I just get flooded from the sodding sink inside.

It was not a happy moment. I believe I screamed and beat my head against the wall. Then I had to go and chuck all the books that were piled up on the floor over to the other side of the room so they didn't get soaked.

A frustrating hour later, I'd found the culprit, a blockage made up of a plug of fat. God knows how it got itself into a perfect plug shape and had the time to get attached to the U-bend. There's hot water flowing down the sink regularly. It was probably being away for 24hrs over Christmas that did it.

Then I discovered that my cleaner had poured a whole load of bleach down the sink and it had spattered all over my decent brown jeans. The bleach was manifesting itself through the appearance of red patches up and down my legs. EFFING RUINED!

To cheer myself up (much needed) I decided to go and use some of my Christmas gift coupons to buy a new pair of jeans. I could use the coupons I received in the Halle aux Vetements (not normally my first port of call...) so off I went. Ten pairs of jeans later, I had to leave the shop empty-handed. They were either too big or too small or too crappy. Actually they were all crappy, so I tried Kiabi next door. Same result. I could use the coupons in Pimkie or Etam but I'm not 12-20 so anything I bought would make me look like mutton dressed as lamb and a total twat.

By this time I was totally frustrated as well as furious. I stomped around Carrefour to buy wine, some food and brown dye then went home to glare at the sink and carry on mopping.

My DB came round so I could take out all my frustration on him (bless 'im). Then I had a nice cup of tea and a mince pie. Later I made a recipe from BBC Good Food - Garlicky potato and mushroom gratin to which I added some girolles (chanterelles) that I'd bought as a treat in Carrouf, and it was sooooo good and so wickedly creamy that I felt really much better.

So things did improve eventually, but my god, what a mostly effing awful sodding day!

21 comments:

  1. OMG sorry to hear that was so crap. Boxing Day isn't recognized here as such, especially the term, and it pissed down all day. But hey - no blocked sinks - had to chuckle at the line 'like mutton dressed as lamb and a total twat.'

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    1. It's easy to look like that at my age, I tell ya!

      At least it was sunny here yesterday so I could open the doors. The sun came out, of course, the day I went back to work. It was miserable and wet on my days off. Typical!

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  2. Eeek, horrible day. Just what you don't want at this time of year - or any time of year. But glad it ended well with the DB and nom noms. :)

    Here's wishing you a New Year filled with all good things, health, happiness and no blocked sinks.

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    1. Thanks Susie. Best wishes for a super 2013 with no blocked sinks either. :)

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    2. We had blocked drains, and extruded a gigantic plug of hardened fat which came from who knows where since we don't eat meat and use very little cooking fat. And as soon as that was sorted out we had a busticated pipe that had leaked 114 cubic metres of water into the ground. But at least it happened in the summer. Today's hurricane force wind and rain has flooded the dining room and kitchen. Never a dull moment. Where's that head banging place? :)

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    3. Yikes, that sounds a nightmare! Never a dull moment indeed! Horrendous weather too! You must be wondering when it will all stop.

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  3. Crikey you poor thing! but at least you must be due a good day now in the big scheme of things?

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    1. Going for a week to Blighty next week. Things should perk up markedly being on holiday. :)

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  4. Eww sounds like a rough day. Hope the coming ones are better I have a drain that keeps getting more and more blocked. I don't look forward to having to take it apart to clean out the clog, probably hair.

    Here in the US most people have to work on Boxing day/day after Christmas. luckily I get it off, but for some reason they call my work calls it "Gift Day" Never heard it called that before.

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    1. Hi Wonky, I'm forever having to take the plunger to the shower and have it puke up the ball of hair that blocks everything after a while. Unpleasant work!

      I've never heard of a gift day either. Mind you, who cares what it's called as long as you have the day off! :)

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  5. When you said you weren't 12 -20 I thought you were talking about sizes. I was thinking it was highly unlikely you were a size 22 as I've seen your photo and wondered why Etam didn't do a size 10.

    I'll get me coat...

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    1. Yeah, I could have made it clearer without exerting myself too much. Still, you got there in the end. :)

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  6. Heaps of compassion coming your way, having been there, seen it and bought the T-shirt.
    I had the fun task of unblocking the house sewer on Hubby's birthday (see "Happy birthday, P.F" on my blog if you want a good laugh at my expense). Totally agree on the jean predicament. French women aren't the same shape are us British girls. Nobody's perfect, hey?

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    1. Just read your blocked drains post - a blocked toilet takes emmerdement to a whole stratospheric level of crap (as it were). It must have been horrendous, but you wrote about it very entertainingly. :)

      Agree about shape. I find it very difficult buying clothes. If it weren't for my personal shopper Pierrette, who comes to my house with 5 Ikea blue bags from which I buy 5 items I'd go naked! :)

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  7. What a rotten Boxing Day. If it makes you feel any better it no longer seems to be a bank holiday in the UK; it's the day half the world descend on the Trafford Centre (shopping mall) and block the M60 motorway. I don't know why people do it. Much rather be at home with a Baileys and a mince pie. Hope New Year is better for you.

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    1. My family always gets together on Boxing Day which is why it feels so wrong to be at work here. We spend Christmas Day in our own homes (me at my mum's) as it's easier, but then congregate at my mum's to eat leftover turkey etc.

      Joining half the world in a shopping mall or getting stuck in traffic getting to the shopping mall certainly does not appeal!

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  8. Oh poor you. Sorry, but I do like it when you have a rant! All's well that ends well? :)

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  9. Garlicky potatoes and a glass of wine would definitely help to cheer me up as well, but wow, that was a rotten day. I hope the brown dye worked out ok :)

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    1. The trousers will need two sessions with the dye. I think that in fact I'll have to cover the patches with black marker pen and then dye them black. I needed some black jeans anyway... :)

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  10. Would it be possible that you just need detox from the French (I would know, I AM French?). You seem to have all the symptoms! Good luck to you!

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