Collision Course

I wonder if there has ever been, in history, a time when we have so many major issues to worry about. I'm not talking about the credit crunch, but big world-ending disasters.

We've got the arming of nutty nations with nuclear weapons of mass destruction, the end of the world as we know it because of global warming, the grinding to halt of the entire planet through lack of oil, and the death of mankind by superbugs (think War of the Worlds).

We can add another one too; a potential threat to the Earth's very existence - that of being sucked into a black hole created by the Cern collider. There, I bet you hadn't thought of that! The end of the world might well be nigh and we'd all be gone in a puff of black matter without even time to send a text message to cancel the pizza order.

I'm no scientist although I got a B for my chemistry O'Level, so I really can't pretend any expertise on this matter. Still, it seems that certain physicists are a tad concerned that they might actually be building the end of the world. It would mean that I could stop worrying about my pension, that's for sure.

Most physicists believe the risk of a cataclysm lies in the realms of science fiction. But there have been fears about the possibility of a mini-black hole - produced in the collider - swelling so that it gobbles up the Earth.

One would like to think that they reach some sort of an agreement before they switch the damned machine on and it sucks us up and spews us out on the other side of God knows what. I'm trying not to worry about it too much. On the one hand it would solve all the other problems albeit cataclysmically, on the other we'd all cease to exist which seems a bit unfair.

Mind you, if I could choose just a few to be selectively vaporised, I have my little list of Bad Guys. At the top would be Robert Mugabe who is a thoroughly evil despot. I'd also chuck in George Bush who has blown most of the opportunities he had to make a better world. Next would be the women-despising Taliban, Osama bin Laden, Fritzl, the Mafia and various terrorist organisations around the world, and that's just off the top of my head. Can't think of any evil women for the moment.

Seeing as no one really knows what's going to happen, we'll just have to hope for the best. Watch this space...