Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Clock

Wordpress have a Daily Prompt I know that this is a Blogger blog, but I get the daily post sent to my email anyway because sometimes they have good ideas for blog posts. I haven't, up until now, actually used any of their ideas, but I liked this one, and was inspired by the writing of fellow blogger Multifarious Meanderings and her short story thriller called Time up.

This Daily Prompt is called The Clock: Write about anything you’d like. Somewhere in your post, include the sentence, “I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock.”

So I thought I'd write a very short short story.


It was raining outside. I couldn't see it, but I could hear it pounding on the windows, the wind howling round the trees, their branches tap tapping on the glass. Let me in, let me set you free, they seemed to say. I dream of life and liberty, set free, riding the wind, but it'll never be. I'm locked out of life.

I heard a car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock. I can see and I can hear but I cannot move. I can't talk, or can I? Maybe I could, but, not since that day. The day my life ended. The nurses on the day shift called out a cheery good-bye. I looked at the clock. Time is all I have left. I note its every move. I have to, I have to keep control.

The day my life ended I lost control. Those men, they had control. I can't remember, I just know. The knowledge consumes me. I fight it but I can't win, I'm too scared. The clock keeps me focused.

My parents came to visit. They gave me the news, told me my sister was expecting a baby. Life goes on. Renewal, continuity, moving on. But I can't move on. I can never be free. I'm locked in, locked down, locked out.

14 comments:

  1. I like it. It is a bit dark. How are you?

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    1. I think my sub-conscious is processing the news that a dear family friend had a terrible stroke recently. She refuses to talk, won't open her eyes and is in a bad state.

      I'm fine, apart from a bruised knee that I gave a good whack to on the sharp corner of my bed when I tried to take a short cut to the window to close the shutters. Zumba is out for a few days, that's for sure!

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    2. I had forgotten about shutters -we don't have any in our house here. Poor you! Well, take care!

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  2. Ooh - that's interesting - left me wanting to know more about the protagonist and how they came to be in that situation. You should expand on it!

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    1. Well, I may do, but probably won't.
      I'm sure you can imagine the rest. :)

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  3. Oh, yay! You changed your comment form! (tangent!) I really liked this. I'm thinking this was a car crash, a fatal accident. I want to know! I'm intrigued!

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    1. Thanks, Sam! :)
      Actually, you must have heard of that poor Indian girl who was gang raped recently and died from her injuries? I think I was thinking more along those sort of traumatic lines.

      It had to be really bad to go into a sort of catatonic state of shock.

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  4. This is really good, Sarah. Love that last sentence.
    I can't 'do' creative writing so am always impressed when people let their words flow like this.

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    1. Thanks Trish. It's not often I knuckle down and try some creative writing, but I always enjoy it when I do.

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  5. That is excellent writing, Miss Bloggie. It definitely begs for a sequel, and the word "control" peppered throughout the second half keeps the pressure up nicely :-) Thanks for the link and the mention, much appreciated!
    I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and I hope you get more encouraging news soon.
    As for your bed, it sounds like a it has a vicious streak. Tie it to a lamp post on the mototway and adopt a new one that's less aggressive ;-)

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    1. Uh. That should read "..It sounds like it has a vicious streak", and we are of course talking "motorway" and not "mototway". That'll teach me to blog before coffee.

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    2. Thanks, MM, and you're welcome. :)

      My eyes glossed over most of the pre-coffee typos. Handy, that. :)

      I've long wanted to get rid of that sodding bed, but it has handy bed-side shelves (crammed) and a huge drawer (ditto), so I'd have to replace it with a new one and involve a huge effort (finding, buying, putting together). Too huge, for the moment. :)

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  6. Sounds a bit spooky, if you ask me. When is chapter two due to be published?

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    1. There probably won't be a chapter two; I'll leave it to your imagination. :)

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