Tele Target Practice

I'm having a 'poor me, I'm ill' day at home today. Not swine flu, no, just a simple common or garden cold. Happily it coincided with the day my new tele was redelivered.

A couple of weeks ago I bought a new tele from Carrouf, special offer, last day only. Of course when I say 'I bought', I mean in the non-literal sense of 'owing money on the purchase of' said LCD pretty big Philips screen. It was delivered last Tuesday morning.

By Tuesday evening I had noticed what looked like a target bottom left. It hadn't shown up on the blue programme search screen but it did on the paler colours of a poisonous lake. In fact, it's all I saw.

Furious, I asked the boys if they had bashed into it or something equally disasterous. Beyond giving it a hug (!) they had not touched it. I didn't really think they had, but if one is to go back to the shop to make a fuss, one has to be standing on firm moral and guilt-free ground.

The next day I went into Carrouf to the Accueil and told the woman there was a problem with the tele. She suggested I bring it back in. "I don't think so," I replied, "it's too big" whereupon she lost interest and told me to see After Sales. It was about 1.40pm. I explained my problem to Mr SAV (service après vente) and he said I'd need to come back at 2.30pm because the tele guy in charge returned then.

Seething only slightly, I went away and came back some time later after 2.30pm only to be told he was actually due back at 4pm. I stayed calm, something of a feat, because Mr SAV was clearly embarrassed and wanted to help out. He sent me to see the tele department and explain my problem.

We live in a connected world of computers and 'labour-saving' technology. Don't we? Well, it took an hour, yes sixty minutes of going through the procedure of producing the paperwork to do a simple swap of my defective tele for a new one.

Then when I got to the till it started all over again because the promotion had ended and there was 100Eur difference between the prices marked on the invoices. I told the guy on the till that if he thought I was going to pay anything he was wrong because it was more than dodgy to sell a defective tele cheap only to slam the customer for the extra when it had to be replaced by the same evening.

He agreed and called his supervisor. By this time all the other customers in line had given up and wandered off. I felt sorry for them but it wasn't my fault that Carrouf has such an incompetent set of procedures. I just wanted a tele without target practice.

I didn't, in fact, have to fight too hard to get the new tele. They put it down to 'faute d'emballage' which I'm sure it was - a packaging issue, or unpacking issue, or something nothing to do with me, or the boys. Apparently it was a pixel or two that had blown and was busily causing short circuits in the surrounding ones thus provoking the rather interesting target practice effect.

You can be sure that when tele 2.0 arrived and was unpacked, I had a VERY good look at all the pixels to make sure none of the little buggers were giving up the ghost. For the moment at least they seem to be holding up.

Unfortunately, although my tele has an integrated TNT (Télévision numérique terrestre) thingy, I am in a shady TNT spot which means I can't receive it. Down the road they've got it, at Carrouf they've got it, but chez moi, I haven't got it. Bugger. Don't worry, said my first tele installer heartily, they've got to cover the whole country by 2010. Unfortunately, said my tele seller, they are very behind and it won't be until 2012 that everyone gets it. Great. I'm stuck with crappy analogique pictures until we move probably.

As I've said before, thank god for satellite Sky!

Frigi-there

Will I have a fridge for New Year? It seems so, YES!

No thanks to Darty, however. I went there last night and waited, a lone figure in a sea of white cases. I might still be waiting had I not given up after ten minutes, the lack of sales assistants a glaringly obvious cause of sliding sales... However, not wishing my feet to become petrified to the floor, or die of starvation before I was served, I went to Carrouf instead.

In Carrouf, I immediately found the sales assistant and showed him the fridge I wanted which, joy of joys, was on promotion. I advised him of my dire need for it to be delivered before Thursday because there was no way I could cope fridge-less over New Year. He must have understood my plight, because he said he would check the stock. Unfortunately, there were none, only the more expensive white version (not on promo) and ordering from the depot wouldn't get it to me until Friday.

So I suggested that I could have the one on display, and have it delivered on Wednesday. He hummed and ha'd a bit but I did more helpless, desperate female act, which wasn't difficult as it was exactly how I felt, and he said that would be okay.

So, Cinderella, you will go to the ball, and I will have a fridge for New Year. The thought of preparing party meals with no fridge was just a nightmare, and I was on the point of cancelling everything and retiring to my bed with a temperature and bottle of gin. No need, however, YIPPEE!

All I have to do now is clear out the existing fridge, clean underneath and get it ready to be carted off. No small task as it's covered in magnetic letters and bits and bobs on the top (cake stands, empty jars, roasting tin...), all dusty and needing a new home. The bin beckons for most of it... I'd much rather have those magnetic words that you can make into poetry or a little story now that the boys are older. They never did play with the letters. Visitors to the house (such as NG) used them way more than the boys! Ah well, all one can do is provide the means to improvement. You can't force it down.

I'm now looking forward with pleasure to the next couple of days (even though I have to venture out shopping tomorrow afternoon...!) instead of with pure horror and dread. It's the little things... 511litres worth that make all the difference.

Carrouf'ed

I braved Carrefour this morning for my weekly shop. Despite my good intentions of getting out early, I in fact lazed about in bed until 8.30 and then realised it was too late to get out early. So I revised my schedule in a southerly direction to 'quite' early.

This I achieved, and was tottering around Carrouf by about 9.45am. You may wonder why I was keen to get out, and my rather anal notings of times. It's because Carrouf becomes your worst nightmare after about 10.30am so if you've any hope of retaining a semblance of humour for the rest of the day, it's best to get in and out ASAP.

To my horror, I saw that they'd been rearranging the shop. I loathe it when they do that because you can never find anything, and they hope you'll pick up extra bits and bobs on your way round looking for the stuff on your list. I make a point of not doing this because if there's one thing I can't stand, it's blatant commercial manipulation.

I had however, lost the eggs, and had to ask. A passing thought that he might give me a GPS coordinate was not that excessive. Not only have they been moving things around, but they've been squashing the aisles together. It seems that some work is under way in the middle of the shop, so to compensate, they've gone all budget airlines on us and reduced the legroom. It meant that you had to wait at the end of an aisle for the people coming the other way to get to the end because two trolleys could not pass one another.

I could imagine that tempers would become a little frayed after 10.30...

When I came out to go back to my car, fisticuffs threatened over parking spaces so I was glad to be getting out of there. I drove smugly back home only to remember that I hadn't bought any coffee (instant) and I was clean out. Bugger. That wiped the smile off my face!

NEWS: MP3 FOUND!

You'll all be delighted to know, I'm sure, that I've found my MP3 player. Oh frabjous day, calloo, callay!!!

Where was it? Er, it was in the pocket of one of my jackets - one, I hasten to add, that I don't wear very often. So now I have both charger and player, and I have been busily charging it up for my next foray around the supermarket.

Yesterday's shopping was quite ghastly as I had both boys. The Christmas decorations and toys are all out at Carrouf now, and getting past those aisles right next to the entrance proved to be tricky. Compounding the problem was that we had to buy a birthday present for a pal of my eldest so were obliged to spend a certain amount of time browsing the acres of possibilities. In fact, it wasn't too hard, as most items were way to pricey and narrowing it down to the absolute top limit of 10Eur meant a nice Lego box of fighting figures was just about the only option.

Next stop, the wine section and a much-needed white wine box - Picpoul de Pinet! I need to stock up on cognac or calvados too after last week's emotional traumas but I couldn't drum up the financial reserves to treat myself to a bottle. Next time I'm ill I'll convince myself it's for medicinal purposes and get one anyway...

My youngest and I spent the afternoon at the beach while my eldest zapped away at his friends at the birthday treat LazerGame. He took a bucket and spade, didn't wear his new shoes bought that morning, and in 9°C sat on the wet sand having a lovely time. I insisted on going for a walk which he used to make pointless collections of shells, running away from the pathetic tide, and of course, getting caught. His old shoes now thoroughly soaked, we headed back, diverted via the sand dunes which he used as launching pads to throw himself off onto the soft dry sand below.

You will not be surprised to learn that he was a very tired boy that evening, and ate a hearty supper of pancakes before procrastinating his way to bed.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm an out-of-season beach person. Having not set foot there all summer, I've been at least five times within the space of a month!

Yesterday's lunch: I mention this as I made an effort (for once on a Saturday). I bought a roll of pastry and made a quiche. I had the end of a packet of spinach leaves, so spread mustard on the bottom of the pastry, fried a sweet onion gently until soft, added the spinach leaves until sweated and chucked them into the pastry. I beat four or so eggs, added a good dose of 15% cream, fines herbs and poured the mixture over the spinach and onion, baking it for half an hour-ish. I made it for me, needless to say, and it was delicious! The boys had hot dogs... (*sigh*) followed by blackcurrant jelly (made entirely by my youngest).

Saturdays...!

My eldest's 11th birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and today he is supposed to be doing the celebrating with his friends bit. I meanly told him he couldn't invite every kid and his dog to a MacDo-fest as it costs too much for what it is. On the other hand, I suggested, I would take him and a couple of pals to the cinema.

This suggestion went down very well on condition, he said, that I left him and his pals to see the movie all by themselves. Ah. I agreed, of course, thinking that we would be in town and I could mooch around the shops for an hour or so, have a nice cup of coffee on the Place de la Comedie and watch the world go by plugged into my MP3 player.

Not quite... He wants to see The Simpsons movie which is on at the super mega Mulitplex outside Montpellier, near Ikea (funnily enough...). Pop went my afternoon's activities bubble. I now have the prospect of going to a movie myself all on my todsome which I loathe (never done it, don't intend to start now...), sitting in the car reading, going to Ikea looking at things I don't want to buy (or I do, but can't...), taking the tram back into town to rekindle original bubble or drive down to the beach. Hmmm. All involve effort except sitting in the car reading. How annoying.

Why the desire to have it easy? Well, I went shopping in Carrouf this morning, and it's buggered me for the day... Shopping on Saturday mornings really is the pits but since I was there I bought a box of organic quinoa and a nice rice/lentil organic mixture just for a change. Intermarche doesn't have such exotic items. It's probably why I spend less when I shop there too...

Maybe reading on the beach is what I'll do this afternoon. It's lovely here today - must be easily mid-20s°C. I'll let you know...

Swimming Paddling Pool

We have seemingly nice neighbours, yet they do not invite my youngest to play in their paddling pool despite the fact that their child is forever playing with guns and other toys belonging to my youngest. Mean, I call it.

NG was incensed, so when she espied a bargain paddling pool in Leroy Merlin, she called upon the cavalry (me) to set forth on an expedition across town to secure the booty. I tried calling first to see if they had any left, but the girl on the phone refused to pass me through saying there was already a long list of people waiting.

Monday was Pentecost. It was that funny sort of holiday that we are supposed to work to help the aged, but no one does instead preferring to add a minute a day to the rest of the year's work day. Untidy, it all is, but much umbrage is being taken by the unions over working a day and not getting paid. The word 'solidarity' is obviously a nimby word here.

Leroy Merlin was packed. The car park was packed. I've never seen it so full. Eventually I found a sort of space and we set off on our voyage of discovery, trolley in tow doing its own thing. NG tried not to look at such enticing sights as taps, tiles, baths, cupboard space, garden furniture and other delights. She used to do a lot of house renovating, and Leroy Merlin was her Mecca. I would have offered blinkers, had I had any handy...

After walking round the whole shop in pursuit of the pool, we found a chap up a ladder and asked him. He told us, merrily, that they'd sold out. Bugger, we thought, and left immediately looking neither to the right, nor to the left.

Back at the car, we wound our way out, and drove next door to Carrefour. There, not only did we find a pool, but it was cheaper, slightly, and had a special Pentecost 20% off! Ha!

Flushed with success, we took it back to maison NG, and that afternoon, I came with the boys and revolting friend to set it up. There was training video for the serially pool-setting-up-challenged, but it wasn't that difficult. The main problem seemed to be stopping the revolting friend from grinding the garden gravel into the bottom and puncturing the lining before we'd actually set it up. In the end I had to take everyone home because revolting friend was being a bugger, and setting my youngest into bugger mode too. It was too much, so I chucked them in front of the tele and told them to be quiet.

Later, I went back (alone) to see how things were coming along. It was much too cold to paddle, even. I don't know what's happened to global warming this week, but it's definitely doing it elsewhere! It's been freezing, with a charming northerly wind making us rush to re-patriate our winter woollies!

That was Monday. Today was slightly warmer, and the boys had their first real chance to try the pool. It has a diameter of 3 metres and is 70cm deep, so they can play in it safety but get other than their ankles wet. The blue inflated sausage around the top leaks air, naturally, but the pump is permanently attached, so can be put right at any time.

It's not quite what NG has been used to in the past, but it's great fun for the boys who don't need acres of water to enjoy themselves, and I think, quite prefer being able to walk about and splash each other with impunity.

I'll wait for it to warm up a bit before I dip my tootsies in!