It was a two gin & tonic day today. Two because as I find my feet, get settled and happy, throwbacks from my past married life have the capacity to fling open the cupboard and set the raging tiger loose.
It's little things. Big little things. Administrative, banal and legally binding. My ability to take the boys to the UK to see their grandparents is suddenly compromised. Why? Because I need a certified signature from their father, made in his local Mairie, and he is way too 'busy' to put himself out in this way.
But it's for the boys! That won't wash. But it's an administrative necessity! That won't wash either. What will wash? Personal interest.
My life is still thus governed by unreasonableness; the singular most irritating characteristic of my ex-h. This is a bitter pill to swallow and facing it provoked the need for the first G&T.
It also ruined the pleasure of finally having the piano delivered. What should have been a moment of delight, and pure self-indulgent frivolity became a mere interjection in an otherwise painful afternoon.
I found a message on the phone this afternoon from the CAF thanking me for informing them of my change of circumstances and telling me they could do nothing about it. Fair enough. I was asking for nothing. However, I am over-sensitive to others taking the piss, and CAF fraud when I am trying to do my best is just not on. The RA is resident in my house, but the alloc for her do not come this way, not even as pocket money/clothing allowance/advance for her medical costs. Doctor's, dentist's, radiologist's, orthodontist's fees have to be advanced, and are sent to her official guardian for reimbursement. Are they sent forthwith? Are they hell. (ed 21/10: it seems I was being unjust. The alloc has been terminated. Pocket money is being sent...)
There are, theoretically, no problems; only solutions. The bugger of it is, that sometimes these lie out of ones' hands; at the mercy of others; the perpetrators of the problems.
One can have an excess of family life, but the ultimate solution is family cohesion.
Although... desert islands do sometimes have an almost magnetic attraction...
The second G&T? Social, contemplative, pleasurable. Just like tea, really.