Monday, December 20, 2010

Fugue in B Major

I had this week all sorted out. It was going to include a weekend away with my TWDB, peace and quiet during the week, and Christmas organised.

Then the shit hit the fan and everything became instantly disorganised. I did not get a nice weekend away, there will be no peace and quiet this week, and what I'm doing for Christmas is suddenly up in the air. Again. Last year it was snow that disrupted everything, this year it's kids (but no one is hurt!).

I've spent a mentally and emotionally draining weekend trying to keep chaos at bay, and it's just the start with more to come. Was it just in my last post that I warned against complacency? Prophetic?

Yesterday the weather was foul and I found myself in need of cocooning, so I stayed in all day (after an emergency shop for food I hadn't expected to need) and hunkered down on the sofa with a book and The Mummy on an intermittent Sky (satellite tele doesn't like rain either).

The house smelt comforting with a Christmas pudding steaming away, Chinese-style pork simmering in the slow cooker, baking bread, and mince pies for tea. I also got out the port for some more heavy duty cockle warming. I was doing my best to keep the outside world at bay!

It got me wondering about stressful situations and coping mechanisms. Some people cope by analysing the situation, identifying the stress and then set about working on dealing with it. Others don't want to face up to it so ignore it and hope it'll go away. Rarely do things go away though. They might accept being brushed into a quiet-looking place for a while, but they are there niggling. It's never dealt with, never faced up to, never accepted.

As a result it's a ticking bomb which sends out sparks of warning. 'Deal with me,' it begs, but there are none so deaf as those who do not wish to hear. Or listen.

Convinced of their own rightness and invincibility communication is impossible. You can't talk; there is no talking. 'Let's talk' is warped into 'I'll talk, you listen and agree because I am confident that my decisions are best', so you decide not to bother, but go straight to your legal obligations/rights.

It's a shame, but if a person does not face up to the self-analysis and changes that stressful situations impose, they will never work through to accepting their part, their errors, their responsibility. No one is immune from being even partly wrong, and denying it can result in that ticking bomb which one day explodes with an impact far greater than the original problem.

And fucks up my weekend, my week and my Christmas. Plus that of my TWDB. Plus that of the family. Plus that of other people. And so the ripples spread. For want of a nail...

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