Sunday, September 23, 2012

How to find out if you're gay

My mother said to me recently that she learned more about infant school after I came home from my first day than a whole year's attendance by my big brother. Some kids are chatty and are happy to talk about school, etc. Others are closed-mouthed.

My eldest, I'm happy to say, is chatty and gossipy. He doesn't tell me everything of course, but knows that he gets less stick if he gives me enough to keep me happy. This doesn't always apply to parents' meetings however...

The other day he came home with some gossip that I thought I'd share with you. A friend of his was at a party when a slightly older boy came over to him and started chatting him up. The conversation went something like this:
Boy 2: Are you gay?
Boy 1: No.
Boy 2: How do you know?
Boy 1: I like girls.
Boy 2: But how do you know you don't like boys?
Boy 1: I just do.
Boy 2: Okay, well why don't you try something to find out for sure?
Boy 1: Like what?
Boy 2: Go onto a gay porn site and try wanking.
Boy 1: Eh?!
Boy 2: Go to [insert name] site, watch [insert name] video and see if you can wank. You'll never know for sure until you try it...

So, I said to my son, did he? Yes, he said, he did, he tried it out and it didn't work, ergo he isn't gay!

I tell you, I never had conversations like these with my mother at that age (or indeed since)!

But I learn a hell of a lot about yoof today.